Saturday, October 25, 2008

We Have Bullshit Lives

I love my friend Sarah S. She is amazing. Today we were at Karolyn and Bryan's shared birthday party, basking in the glow of their hospitality and happy-couplehood, and we talked a lot about our loneliness. Sarah and I have both been single a while; it's getting to the point where we're both wondering if we will remain single for always. Like Sarah said today, "You know, you hold out for a long time, and it doesn't happen, and you feel awful, and then finally, juuust when you think all hope is lost and you want to pack it in, it still doesn't happen." Why is Sarah lonely? Doesn't she deserve love? What the fuck is going on here, in this life?

Who knows. Maybe the answer is just... misery. I have been miserable in relationships and out of them. But I'm tired of pretending I don't need to be in love in order to be happy, because it's just not true.

But the funny part, now: Sarah said I should take a photo of myself drinking a milkshake with two straws in it, with nobody on the other end of the second straw. I love that idea, that image, so much that I may actually take that photo.

3 comments:

Kim said...

I'm married, but lonely too. Horribly so. I'm part of the furniture around here. Your life is not bullshit.

Lawrence and Christine said...

Ah sadness, suckness. I'm sorry. But it's all great research for the novel!

Amanda said...

Yeah, sorry for the melodrama. Get Happy!!