Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Whorescopes

I get amused by the ecstatic teenager tone most horoscopes are written in. "Way to go, Aries! All the stars are shining gloriously for you today, and it's your time to let your hair down and celebrate as only you know how!"

My horoscope for today told me, "Let your ego go shopping and let your soul take over." Dang, you don't need to tell ME twice! Shit!

Seriously, isn't it always your ego that goes shopping? You can't shop with your id, that would be like, "I need some... tears... fun... mother's arms stuff? Do you have?"

I hate all my records and it is time to get new records. Just downloaded What To Do About Them by the Swirlies and am getting all 1990s-ed.

Are you sad for any reason? Listen to this.

5 comments:

Jack Morton said...

love the lip gloss remix.

my horoscope told me I would be tempted to waste money on things i don't need, and people I don't like. Then it told me that "still, it's all part of life's great adventure".

no!

Tristan said...

sorry, that was me posting, but under a work account. wopwah!

Amanda said...

Jack Morton, eh? Fahncy.

That remix is fucking me up, though I still sing that song as "my lip gloss brings all the boys to the yard."

C said...

I like reading my horoscope -- especially the yearly one, which just announced that next year is going to be like the best year ever for me in terms of travel -- but was dismayed to recently see a job posting looking for people to write the horoscopes. wtf? I thought you had to have like special insight to write that crap. My belief in the alignment of stars and whatnot has been shattered.

Amanda said...

Yes, another reason why horoscopes are funny: I'm sure a lot of horoscope writers read the same astrology "feed" somewhere and then each figures out her own quirky way to talk about the info.