(How many people my age and younger saw the joke headline "The Eyes Have It" for years before they ever heard the expression "the ayes have it"? I can say the same for "Hair Apparent"/"Heir Apparent." And, to a lesser extent, "Hail to the Chef.")
I do not have very good vision. Yesterday on the subway I squinted at a philosophy quote on a SubTalk poster for ten minutes to make sure it was attributed to Immanuel Kant and not Emmanuel Lewis. Finally I realize: for the past year I've been messing up more of my time-sheet errors at work, leaning ever closer and more tenderly into computer screens, and taking longer and longer to cue records up. Why has it taken so long for me to notice that? Answer: you get used to things looking blurry, and you work around it. Like old people do. My bad vision also went undetected for a while in childhood, so it's nuthin' new. How pathetic. All this to say, BE IT KNOWN ON THIS 26th DAY OF MARCH IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2009 that my next big wad of paycheck is going to the eye doctor. And until then I'll wear my glasses, which have a stronger correction than my contacts. Friends, make sure your own eyes are okay too, 'cause I don't want to collide with you in the face.
(Okay, maybe I do with a few of you, but not painfully.)
Keep the grocery lists coming! The ones I'm getting are a lot of fun. Again, please send me an email if you need my mailing address.