Sunday, June 21, 2009

This is What OK Cupid Said About Me But I Will Say Now That I Did NOT Join OK Cupid, Because Internet Dating is Weird

All right, so, Helen wants me to try OK Cupid, and I don't want to. I find dating stressful as it is, because I'm so busy and because I fear things like intimacy and heartbreak so much -- internet dating would ramp all that way up, no? On the flipside, I imagine that if you didn't really *like* your dates, it would just be annoying.

And plus, shit, I am NOT hurting for dudes interested in me right about now. No sir. No ma'am. Lest you think. Law of attraction. Serious. (Weeps silently)

But anyway, internet dating: it's there. I am considering it but probably won't do it. All the same, OK Cupid had me take a test to determine my "dating personality" and their results were "scary accurate"! Read on! Pay close attention to the final sentence!


Loving, hopeful, open. Likely to carry on an romance from afar. You are The Window Shopper.

You take love as opportunities come, which can lead to a high-anxiety, but high-flying romantic life. You’re a genuinely sweet person, not saccharine at all, so it’s likely that the relationships you have had and will have will be happy ones. You’ve had a fair amount of love experience for your age, and there’ll be much more to come.

Part of why we know this is that, of all female types, you are the most prone to sudden, ferocious crushes. Your results indicate that you’re especially capable of obsessing over a guy you just met. Obviously, passion like this makes for an intense existence. It can also make for soul-destroying letdowns.

Your ideal match is someone who’ll love you back with equal fire, and someone you’ve grown to love slowly. A self-involved or pessimistic man is especially bad. Though you’re drawn to them, avoid artists at all costs.


j.m. said...


Online dating! Do it!

(I really don't know why I enjoy encouraging my friends to do something I would never do.)

Amanda said...

Because you enjoy seeing your friends suffer?

Timo said...

What about the objective, bon-vivant artiste living across the river who has a crush on you but is not sweating you (too much)?

Amanda said...

You guys, I don't know! Life is confusing!

Rangerooo said...

Oh, Nazario, I love you. I'll avoid artists if you will. Which means neither one of us will. Damn right!