Monday, August 17, 2009

LG Stands For Life's Good, They Tell Me

I was eligible for a phone upgrade, so I got a new phone! This happened last week. I am telling you about it now. It is still the cheapest phone available, but for me it's wonderful, being so much better than the cheapest phone that was available four years ago. IT EVEN HAS A CAMERA IN IT.

The most noteworthy development in the my-phone realm is that I've changed my personal banner to "Amnazz" where, on every phone I had since my very first phone in 2000, it used to read "Eat a Dick." A little part of me has died, but at least now I won't sweat bullets if I ever leave my phone at my boss's house.

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Dave Madden's book is getting published!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dave is one of the sweetest people I know, and has been steadfastly dedicated to his project ever since I met him. The last time we saw each other, he had just spent all day in the Museum of Natural History looking through archives for research (we then sat outside at the Hi-Life with fancy cocktails and felt very New Yorky, which I know he appreciated though for me it's all just so dull anymore). I'm really proud of him. Read more about this fantasticness here.

12 comments:

tristan said...

yet another great BPGOIT...

Amanda said...

Tristan, I can't wait until the BPGOIT does an in-store and autographs a picture of himself for you.

joem said...

To make up for the loss of the "eat a dick" banner, you'll need to hide crassness elsewhere in your phone. Perhaps have a phonebook entry for "eat a dick"? Or perhaps write that on a piece of paper then take a photo of it, and keep that photo forever?

Amanda B. said...

That's not what LG stands for, and you and all of TOAST knows it.

Amanda said...

Joe, I plan to compensate for the loss of the "Eat a Dick" banner by saying the words "Eat a dick" more frequently.

AB: Isn't it SO fitting that my phone is the brand that has the same initials as Laundry Guy? It is SO fitting. Also, eat a dick.

Amanda B. said...

LG? WTF kind of off-brand crap is that!?

It looks like they make washing machines too, should you ever be in the market.

Lin Swimmer said...

Nothing says unimpeachable truth like quoting Wikipedia at length. Observe.

In 1959, Goldstar produced South Korea's first radio. Many consumer electronics were sold under the brand name GoldStar, while some other household products (not available outside South Korea) were sold under the brand name of Lucky. The Lucky brand was famous for its hygiene products line such as soaps and Hi-Ti laundry detergents, but most associated with its Lucky and Perioe toothpaste.

In 1995, so as to better compete in the western market the company was renamed "LG", the abbreviation of "Lucky GoldStar". More recently, the company associates its tagline "Life's Good", with the letters LG.


So my question is, Is "Life's Good" much more uplifting than Lucky Goldstar? I know which is more fun to say, and which makes me feel like an asshole that thinks their phone affects their life.

Not that you're that asshole. I should just stick to quoting Wikipedia.

Brian said...

Everyone knows that LG stands for Lick Gonads. EVERYONE.

I think you should change your banner to something obscene, like "Queefmaster." You'll get some looks for sure, but at least it's not a harsh directive like Eat a Dick.

Lin Swimmer said...

Ah, I got it. If your phone's camera takes photos below one megapixel, you are not an asshole. Otherwise; sorry. Votes in.

Oh, and I second Queefmaster. I hear it, and I think, "Voice of America's edgy, angry, inner-city marketable youth culture."

You'll be subsuming Boing Boing within two months.

Amanda B. said...

I don't know this Brian, and possibly you don't, either. But I strongly recommend that you change his name in your cell phonebook to Queefmaster, if he is listed. That's what I would do.

RIP Eat a Dick. But hooray for a Laundry Guy telephone. I hope it comes pre-programmed with LG in speed dial.

Brian said...

Amanda doesn't have my phone number, but if she promises to enter it into her phone as "Queefmaster," I'll give it to her.

Amanda said...

A nameless friend writes, via Facebook: "Earlier last month, after many, many faithful years and several handsets, I finally changed my cell phone banner and welcome message from "Eat me raw" to just nothing."