Sunday, May 31, 2009

No, Not Love, She Said

"I know a lot of things that you don't. You wanna hear some?"

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Ain't She Sweet


Her work is, likewise, pretty sweet. Here are some highlights from my sis's senior show -- some of you may recognize Stella and Tilly, my parents' dogs, who frequently model for her. Congratulations, Alex!


Monday, May 25, 2009

So There Is Something Here

My wifi signal is in and out right now, so I am not going to post anything mejor. My sister, Alex, has sent me a bunch of really great photos of her work, which I'll be posting soon enough. The paintings are beautiful and mostly of dogs and very cute.

I'm all sleepy and lazy. Been taking magnesium pills before bed again; this is supposed to make your dreams better and your sleep sounder, and ensure you get enough sleep. I guess it's not a surprise that they make me feel like going to sleep all day long. Normally I do not sleep very much. Since starting the magnesium regimen I've had a few awesome, vivid dreams. In one, I was taking the President's daughter out to lunch and during lunch received a phone call and was on the phone for a long time. The President came by to check on us, found me basically ignoring his daughter, and scowled disapprovingly at me. In another dream, I was a dowdy farm-girl type married to a guy who took me on a roller coaster ride for a treat, and the roller coaster got stuck at the very top while we were upside down.

I put my bike together and have been riding all over uptown. Today I want to do a Central Park loop.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

How To Make A Firing Squad Execute Me

Get 10 - 15 bottles of a new flavor of Gatorade that most people haven't heard of yet. Get the same number of rifles as there are bottles of Gatorade. Load the rifles.

On the rifles, install metal "water cages" of the type found on bicycles. Put the bottles of Gatorade in the water cages.

Set me up on a busy street in the middle of the day, ideally against a brick wall. Offer a free Gatorade to anyone who would like to be in the firing squad. Keep offering until as many people accept as there are Gatorade rifles.

Line all the people up in front of me and make them execute me. A film crew might make this look more legitimate, but I think enough people would do it anyway.

After that I don't care, everyone can do whatever the fuck they want.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Hang It All


I bought these two small linoleum prints at the senior art show at Alfred University, where my sister is right now graduating. My sis had her own work on display, too, as did all the seniors. She is SO GOOD. Her paintings of dogs embarrass my doodles of dogs.

The guy who made these showed a wall of them, over 2000 little prints each the size of a dollar, held up


with thumbtacks. You were supposed to take one down and leave a dollar in its place; his goal was to have an entire wall of dollars at the end. When I talked to him at the end of the day he was nowhere near that, but I still thought it was a good idea. And aren't these pretty? I'm glad I couldn't choose between them, because they look good together.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Updatery

The grocery list book: it's going to be so swell. I am still accepting submissions -- mail or email me your latest grocery list, correspondence and explanations optional. The writing center is closing up for the summer after this week; thereafter I'll work on the grocery lists more, having the book all ready before the end of June if all goes right.

***

Last night at WHFR, our friend Liz (who is the best) told us about Food'lebrities, the blog that her brother and his bandmates have started. Six of us gathered 'round her laptop to look at it while she scrolled down every single page of the site. It made us laugh, applaud, boo, and, a couple of times, fall to our knees. Said Joe M. afterward, "That's one of the only times I've ever read every page of a blog. It was SO worth it." Note that they are accepting submissions from outsiders, too.

Friday, May 8, 2009

I Am Linking To This

This is important. It concerns something that interests me deeply. I am linking to it. It was in the New York Times yesterday, so everyone has already seen it. I don't care! It's important enough! You will read this!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

How I Met My Wife

Just found this old Shouts and Murmurs in the New Yorker archive. It says you have to register in order to read it, but I think the full text is actually there -- just disregard the first two sentences. I read it in the dentist's office once when I was young, and it touched me with its simplicity and sweetness. I quote it to people a lot, but this is the first time I've read it since then.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

If It Ain't One Thing, It's Another

I have been to the Zapp's Potato Chips website to enter the daily drawing for a free Zapp's/TABASCO® T-shirt, as instructed by the back of the potato chip bag. However, nowhere on the site do I see any info about this daily drawing, or indeed anything about a Zapp's/TABASCO® T-shirt.

Must my life always be an exercise in disappointment?

Least these is some good chips, man.