Thursday, July 30, 2009

That Is All.

I am so tired of dogs today. Also, I'm noticing a spike in usage of the phrase "That is all" for comic effect/emphasis at the end of an otherwise banal announcement.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009


Hey! Atlantic City, NJ is a crazy place where seagulls dive out of the sky to eat your funnel cake. I am going there this weekend, to participate in a reading sponsored by my friend Barry G. and DOGZPLOT. Unclear yet as to where the venue will be for Sunday (which is when I'm up), but below is a link to the flyer with the info for Friday and Saturday. If you're coming, just get in touch with me and I'll tell you where to go.

It promises to be bizarre and frightening.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Friday, July 24, 2009

Dream: July 23, 2009

A nice man was driving me over dirt roads through an overgrown area in summertime. There was sunlight streaming through the windows. Next to the man, occupying the driver's seat with him but not driving, was another, weirder man who had written a novel that he made me look through, and which he kept wanting to discuss with me. The two men were brothers, and I liked the first one and kept leaning forward to hug his shoulders through the driver's seat. The second one was just annoying.

We pulled into the driveway of a farmhouse. There was a litter of adorable puppies playing on the porch with their parents, which were a pit bull and a standard-sized Dachshund. Each puppy was a different color and they were very friendly. I jumped out of the car and began playing with them, saying, "O the puppies that captured my heart! Each one prettier than the last!" and similar rapt exclamations. Suddenly my mom and stepfather were there; they led me to a boardwalk-type structure with a giant gaping hole in it. I jumped over the hole and we came to a spacious, scrubby field that reeked of pigs. I was holding a white puppy. We didn't stay in the field long because my mom said she was allergic to the smell. On the way back the hole in the boardwalk was bigger. I threw the puppy across it (it landed safely) and gained a foothold against a water pipe/water pump-like structure on the other side, so that I could cross. Once back across I played with all the pit-Dachshund puppies and talked to them. The nice man and his weird brother sat in rocking chairs looking down at me indulgently.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Not Overwhelmed With Anything

My family's gone (snif!) and it is once again "my time." I've come to realize that a few of my record albums are missing, presumably because I forgot them at the Ding Dong sometime lately when I was there. So I have to go there when they open today, to see if they are still there. And I hope they are. This is the only thing I'm currently overwhelmed with, if you can even call it being overwhelmed. "Whelmed," more like.

The three missing record albums:

J. Geils Band, Hotline
The Cowsills, The Cowsills
A.C. Newman, Get Guilty

I'm sure there are more which I will discover sometime soon are missing and then I'll get angrier. For now I have to cope with the possible loss of these three and not FTFO about it.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Overwhelmed With Stuff

I'm overwhelmed with stuff. My mom and sister are on their way into the city to help me rearrange my bedroom before my new roommate comes in, and that is good. I like my mom and my sister. But I hate getting all my stuff all messed with. It makes me crazy.

Later today I have writing group, for which I will need to travel downtown a ways. This will happen after I get off work.

The grocery list zine is finished, except for the part where I glue everything down. Instead of cleaning my apartment, I would like to be gluing everything down.

I started a new short story and a new essay. Now I don't know when I'll have time to write more of them.

For about a week I have had that weird feeling you get like there is a lump in your throat. That is to say, I have had a lump in my throat. I've heard this is a symptom of not being able to express yourself or having feelings that you're suppressing.


Saturday, July 18, 2009


I am weirdly trepidatious about this, because it involves asking for money. But I wouldn't be trying it out if I didn't think it were a really good idea. Please take some time to read my grant "pitch" on Kickstarter, and please give some money soon. If I show them I can raise ten grand by October 15th, I'll get it and it will ALL be sunk into this project.

Here it be!

In a nutshell, I'm looking to buy a van and DJ out of it. The more I think about the idea the more I like it, but without the money there's just no way.

Thoughts? Happy/sad? I'm pretty excited, and pretty confident that I can raise the funds if I get EVERYONE's support. (An aside: Kickstarter is a wonderful organization to help entrepeneurs do this type of thing; you might want to try them out if you have something in mind that needs financial backing.) Please let friends and family know, too!

Thanks in advance. Really.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Long Form

Yeah, I've been doing a lot of stuff lately. This blog has gotten slightly neglected, because I'm so busy and because Twitter has sufficed for the info quick-fix. I hereby resolve to give it the attention it deserves again, though. Let it be known that the long form is still a friend of mine; to serve as proof, here's a vignette that is just barely too long to be encapsulated in a tweet in any satisfactory way.

This afternoon I met Justin at Cafe Provincia for his lunch break. I didn't want to eat anything, but I bought a China Cola and went to the counter to pay for it before sitting down. Now, Cafe Provincia is known by me for playing pretty good music, making it a better lunch spot, atmospherically speaking, than most others in the neighb. Last couple times I was there, if I remember right, I heard Stevie Wonder and the Bee Gees. Today they were playing CBS-FM.

Um, so, okay, [legendary New York oldies station] CBS-FM plays songs from the eighties now? And, like, that means ALL of the eighties. As I attained the counter and put my money on it, the song playing was wait for it wait for it "We Didn't Start the Fire." And so of course, since I do sing along with the radio, the lady who rang me up for my China Cola had to add this to the list, no doubt substantial, of indignities she suffered during work today: me looking her in the eye and going, "Wheel of Fortune, Sally Ride, heavy metal suicide. Foreign jets, homeless vets! AIDS, crack, Bernie Goetz!" I couldn't help it, because that is what was on at that exact moment. And because that is how I am.

Everyone: I'm sorry.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Very Hilarious

Dramatis Personae: Me, a little seven-year-old girl, and two little boys who I think were brothers (not related to the girl), one her age and one slightly younger.

Setting: West End Avenue, yesterday.

GIRL: I fell off the bunkbeds, but I didn't break my arm! And I didn't break anything!

BOY 1: You didn't break your knee?


BOY 1: You didn't break your elbow?


BOY 1: You didn't break your --


ALL 3 KIDS: (uproarious laughter)

(At this point I start laughing; the younger little boy notices me, smiles slyly, and continues to look back at me to make sure I am still laughing.)

BOY 1: You didn't break your... hair?

GIRL: No!!!

BOY 1: You didn't break your butt crack?


BOY 1: You didn't break your butt... cheeks?


(I was walking the other way, so unfortunately I was unable to hear the rest of this exchange.)

Monday, July 13, 2009

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Coffee Quit Fail

Today was the first day in many, many days that did not begin for me with a cup of coffee. Instead, I got up and walked Tug, then returned here to his home and fed him.

Then, unwilling to do anything else for the couple of hours before my brunch appointment, I went back to sleep.

I slept through my brunch appointment and called and cancelled it. I felt bad that I had to cancel on the nice person who I'd made the appointment with.

Then I went back to sleep.

I had a dream in which I took a scary cooking class with chef Alton Brown where everyone had to shell and fry up a different type of seafood, but many of the seafoods were grotesque facsimiles of mammals. One kind looked just like little blood-red babies and were called "demons." "Ooh, Bruce just made a nice broth with bear shrimp and demons," someone said. My assigned seafood was clams, but I never got to cook or eat any of my clams because they were so hard to open. Chef Alton Brown knelt in front of me and asked me, "Do you have heartbreak?" Then he asked the date I had brought to the class, "Why is she weird?" My date said, "We're both weird," and I noticed that he looked all grey and sickly. My mom was there too.

I woke up and felt sad. I walked Tug again. Then I turned on the radio, returned to bed, and listened to the radio for an hour while snoozing.

Then I arose and made myself a cup of coffee, which I am drinking now.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

When It's Time To Change, Then It's Time To Change

This is not an interesting thing to talk about, but I will say right now that, now, after a couple of very fun writing years post-MFA, I need a change. Stay tuned for updates for the next few months on how grand and sweeping the change is.

Part of the change will involve my getting a driver's license. Just, you know, FYI. I also may try to give up coffee. (I can't believe I just said that last sentence. I think there need to be quotes around some of those words.)


I am this week listening to the Romantics, owing to the fact that Sunday I was walking back to the PATH train from Helen's place and heard "What I Like About You" coming out of the shoe store on Newark Ave. Why did that song pique my curiosity right then, though I have heard it ten thousand times before over the course of my entire life and am completely desensitized to it? This phenomenon cannot be explained nor understood.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Amen Break

Ryan Lynch put this up yesterday and I listened to it. I have been thinking about it.